Billick Rogers | Family Law | Wisdom | Compassion | Results
Billick Rogers | Family Law | Wisdom | Compassion | Results
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Would you share a house with your ex after a divorce?

On Behalf of | May 31, 2023 | Divorce |

If you’re a North Carolina parent who is preparing to move on in life without your spouse, you no doubt have been discussing your children’s future. Causing the least amount of disruption and stress for kids is a primary goal for most parents in such circumstances. Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to ruin your children’s lives. In fact, some parents agree to try unconventional methods to help their kids maintain a sense of routine and normalcy after a divorce.  

Have you ever heard of birdnesting after a divorce? This is a creative way to share custody of children. If you were to try it, you would live with your children in the house you and your former spouse shared during marriage for an agreed-upon time. Then, you would move out temporarily and your ex would move in. You would rotate turns so that each of you had ample time with your children. 

The benefits and downsides of birdnesting in a divorce 

The idea behind birdnesting in a divorce is that it helps reduce disruption in children’s lives because they don’t have to leave the family home to which they are accustomed. Children also benefit from spending plenty of time with each parent in an environment that feels natural to them. When kids must move to a new home following their parents’ divorce, it can cause a lot of stress and emotional upheaval. Birdnesting is an alternative that many parents say has helped their children cope.  

A downside to a birdnesting arrangement is that you must find a secondary residence to live in when it’s not your turn to have custody of your kids. It might be possible to simply rent a one-person apartment rather than a whole house. You would also be the one traveling back and forth between two households, which might impose an inconvenience from time to time. However, if minimizing stress for children is the goal, then you might decide that a minor inconvenience is a small price to pay. 

Write out clear terms of agreement for child custody and birdnesting 

Numerous issues can arise in a birdnesting arrangement that might be awkward or stir up trouble. For instance, if a parent has a new romantic partner, his or her belongings might be around the house. To avoid contention, it’s best to set boundaries ahead of time and write out clear terms of agreement in your child custody plan.  

If a legal dispute arises, it’s possible to resolve such issues through mediation or arbitration, meaning you wouldn’t necessarily have to go to court. When North Carolina parents agree to keep their children’s best interests in mind as they navigate divorce and create new lifestyles for themselves, it’s a win/win situation. And, when parents use alternative dispute resolution to resolve legal issues, it helps keep divorce-related stress to a minimum.